i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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