Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was born a porn star she said
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
