five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
