Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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