Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize