the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
