Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
