you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize