She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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