What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
