..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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