...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
