i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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