I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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