Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
