Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
