Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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