I'm jealous of your bromance
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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