Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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