I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
