I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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