grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
