"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
