Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
