My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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