My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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