is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
