Just fell off a train. Bad.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
