i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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