hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize