He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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