When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
