I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
