I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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