I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
