I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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