I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
