so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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