I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
