Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
