Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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