I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize