I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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