I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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