drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
