The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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