You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
do herpes really smell.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize