Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize