I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
