The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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