Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
