Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
