oh god the rape fog is back!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
