so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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