i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
