I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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