You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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