we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
