What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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