I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
