help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
